


The Timey-Wimey Adventures of the Time-Traveller and His Wife (and Kids)

by Jayteesee



Series: The Return of River Song [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, The Return of River Song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayteesee/pseuds/Jayteesee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some short fics that are an extension of The Return of River Song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert has a nightmare and drags Audrey into it.

River was awakened by the sound of hushed voices and little feet. "We'll just sneak in the bed. They'll never know," she heard a voice say.

"How are we to sneak in the bed if we can barely climb in it?" asked another voice.

"Um... um..."

"You ask your mother," River interjected.

She hoisted Robert and Audrey on the bed in between her and the Doctor.

"What's going on?" mumbled the Doctor.

"I don't know. What happened?" asked River.

"There's Toclafane in my room," whispered Robert.

"There isn't," replied River.

"There _is_ ," he insisted.

"Doctor," said River.

"Hm?" replied the Doctor.

"You're son is afraid of the Toclafane."

"He should be... if he's a bad little Timelord," said the Doctor turning to face his son.

"Understandable, but why are you here?" asked River turning on Audrey.

"Robert told me that the Toclafane would come after me as a substitute if they realized he wasn't in his room so I had to come with him," explained Audrey.

"Well, you can go back to your own room," said River smiling at her daughter.

"I would, but since I'm here, I might as well stay," said Audrey, and with that she flopped over to bury herself under the covers.

"If Audrey's staying, I'm staying," declared Robert as he buried himself under the blankets as well.

River let out an exasperated sigh. They were only four-years-old. At least they were having nightmares about imaginary monsters and not... No, not her children. Never her children. River turned off the light and lied down to go back to sleep. "It's okay, Audrey. We're safe here," she heard Robert say to his sister.

She hoped they were. She really hoped they were.

 

 


	2. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, the Doctor and River go over names for the twins.

"So we've confirmed it's a boy and a girl," said the Doctor sitting next to his wife on their bed.

River nodded. "We'll need to start thinking about names," the Doctor sighed.

"I've been thinking about some," said River.

She lied down and turned away from the Doctor wrapping herself up in the blankets. "How about Roranicus?" asked the Doctor.

"No!" practically shouted River.

"Why not? Roranicus is a fine name. It's a strong name..."

"Other children will make fun of him," stated River.

"We could call him Rory just like your fath..."

"No!" shouted River again.

The Doctor exhaled. "Right. I understand. It's okay. We don't have to name them after your parents of course... It hurts. I understand," he said.

He laid a hand on her shoulder. "How about something close to their names but not exactly?" suggested River, "I've always liked the name Audrey. It begins with an "A" like Amy."

"You don't have to think about names now if you don't want to. We have plenty of time for that," said the Doctor trying not to stress River beyond what she was already going through.

"Yes, but we really should be thinking about their Gallifreyan names," said River suddenly sitting up, "You haven't spoke much about that part."

"Gallifreyan names? Why would they have those?" asked the Doctor confusedly.

"Because they're half- Gallifreyan, and it's their heritage. Amy and Rory were always pestering me about what Gallifreyan name I would give our child, and how they would be able to pronounce it..."

"But why? Why would it matter?" asked the Doctor.

"Because you were part of our family, Doctor. Didn't you realize that?" asked River.

"I... I thought..."

"You were Amy and Rory's best friend. You were just as important as the people who would come over and invite them to dinner, or a party, or wedding... you even had a better offer," said River scooting closer to him, "And you're married to me... who is their daughter, have you forgotten that?"

The Doctor's face broke out into a smile. "How could I forget that?"

"Tell you what. Their Gallifreyan names are to be whatever we decide, your last name, and the word "Pond" in Gallifreyan as a symbol of the unity in this family," said River wrapping her arms around the Doctor.

The Doctor squirmed a bit. "Stop it," River warned.

"That would be... that would be wonderful," said the Doctor as he submit to her embrace.

"Good. I'm glad you're satisfied. Now, I would like to know if you could go to the kitchen and get me some fish fingers and custard," said River flopping back down on the bed.

The Doctor scowled. "They're your children. I'm not the one who's been wanting that disgusting concoction. It's them," explained River.

The Doctor got up from off the bed. "Yeah, sure it is."


	3. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Audrey are growing up an should know the truth about their family.

"The reason why you're like this is because... because..." River could not finish the sentence.

"You're mother died... sort of died... in a library," explained the Doctor.

Robert straightened in his seat, and Audrey's eyes filled with pain. At thirteen, they were bigger than most children, but nevertheless children. Tears pricked River's eyes, and Audrey laid a hand on River's shoulder. "It's okay, mum," she said.

"When I first regenerated from the Library, I did a thing, and that thing made me human. I won't tell you what that thing was because I don't want you getting any ideas. Especially you Robert," said River with a small smile.

Robert smirked in return. "I didn't remember who I was before, but when I changed back to being part Timelord, I learned that I was pregnant. I had been pregnant in..." River broke down into tears again.

"In the Library. You guys regenerated in the womb which isn't supposed to happen. Your mother didn't know she was pregnant in the Library... It was all my fault," said the Doctor.

"No, mine. I should've found a different way to save those people," River protested.

"No, I shouldn't have let you go..."

"You know you couldn't have. You would have destroyed my timestream!"

"There had to have been a different way, River, and it was my..."

"Stop it, both of you!" shouted Robert, "Just... just get on with the story, alright?"

"Right. Well, your father was earlier along in his own timestream than I was so..."

"He was younger than you knew him... he didn't know who you were. There's no way Dad would know who you are and watch you die," gasped Audrey.

"You're right," said the Doctor clasping his hands together and looking down.

"That means you knew. You knew, when you met mum, she was going to die in the Library," continued Audrey.

"I did, but your mother told me when she died not to change anything..." started the Doctor, but River cut him off, "That was a request that should never have been made," she said her eyes filling with tears.

"River, I should never have honored that request. Especially older me should never have," said the Doctor.

"Sweetie, you were just doing what you were told. You hardly knew what that request meant," argued River.

"I should have done something!"

"What?" shouted River.

"Mum... Dad."

River and the Doctor stopped arguing to see Robert with tears streaming down his face. Audrey was comforting him. "We're sorry we pushed you to tell us. We thought we were old enough, and we could handle it, but... we can't. We're children. We're sorry," said Robert.

"So you don't want to hear the rest," said River not sure to be relieved or frightened at her son's emotional outburst.

"No. Please don't. When the time is right, you make the decision," said Robert.

Audrey and Robert got up, and Audrey began to lead Robert to his room. "You want me to see that he's okay Mum?" asked Audrey.

"Yes, until I get there. Give me a few minutes," responded River.

When the twins were out of range, River turned to the Doctor. "I guess they still won't know," she said.

"I'm not sure it's better that way. Most kids have questions around that age, but they're not 'Why is my family shut off from the world?'" said the Doctor.

"Why do you suppose Robert had such a strong reaction?" asked River.

"There's something he hasn't told you yet, but I'll tell you later. We better get to the children before they start really upsetting the TARDIS. You know how much she cares for them," said the Doctor.

"Yes," replied River.

She remembered being a little girl when Kovarian told her about her past... her future. She remembered how troubled she was. She remembered being Mels and being with her Mum and Dad. All she wanted was that when she was in the orphanage. She remembered being in the spacesuit and seeing her mum for that second before she fired the gun. She remembered being so terrified yet so happy to finally see her all she could say was, "Please help me."

That's all her children wanted now- for their parents to help them.


	4. Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Audrey are growing up like they are supposed to, but not quite how they are supposed to.

"Mum! I found another one!" shouted Audrey running toward her mother to show her the strand of red hair amongst the brown ones.

River frowned at the sight. They had found twelve of them already. "Robert, come here!" shouted River.

"Yes, mum," answered Robert stepping away from the console where he was observing the controls. "How are your eyes?" asked River.

"I thought they were going green, but this morning when I looked at them, they were back to brown," replied Robert.

"Hm," River sighed, "Sweetie!"

The Doctor came out of his little work hole to see what the commotion was about. "Yes, dear," answered the Doctor.

"A word in private," requested River.

The Doctor followed River out to the corridor. "Is it typical that this happens to Timelords around age twelve? Why are they changing? Audrey's hair is going red and Robert's eyes were going green," hissed River.

"Yes, I've noticed that," said the Doctor.

"Well?" asked River.

"They regenerated in the womb, but they were partly protected... in your womb. They're not done yet," the Doctor explained.

"So, they're still changing. The regeneration hasn't taken full effect. It's taking a longer time?" asked River.

"Yes, and the reason that they're not going crazy all the time is because they're bodies have gotten so used to the regeneration process. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't want you to worry," said the Doctor.

"That doesn't matter. They're going to start wondering why they are the way they are. They're going to start wondering why they are changing like this, and you know we can't lie to them. What are we to do?" asked River.

"Hold off telling them until they are old enough," said the Doctor, "...but for now, enjoy their ignorance," he joked.

"I suppose..." began River, but Audrey rushed up to her before she could finish the sentence.

"Mum, why is my hair starting to look like Grandma Amy's?"


	5. Old Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audrey and Robert find some old photos of their mother, father, and some old friends.

"Look at Daddy's big scarf," giggled Audrey.

Robert laughed along with her. The twins sat in the big chair on the TARDIS' second floor... or at least what looks like the second floor. Audrey turned the page. "Another picture of Daddy, but he's wearing a bowtie," said Audrey.

"You look like him," remarked Robert.

Audrey continued to the next page. "And you look like him," she said pointing to a picture of the Doctor's tenth incarnation.

Audrey turned the next page to reveal a picture of Amy in her policewoman outfit and Rory decked out in Roman armor. "I know Grandpa Rory was a soldier, but I thought Grandma Amy was a writer," said Audrey puzzled.

"Hm," she said as she shrugged her shoulders innocently and continued her look through the scrapbook. 

She happened upon a picture of a man and a woman. "Uncle Jack! But who's that?" asked Audrey looking at Robert.

Robert shrugged staring at the picture of the blonde woman in a dark purple jacket and jeans standing next to Captain Jack Harkness. Audrey flipped the page. "And who's that?" she asked pointing to a picture of a black woman in a white doctor's coat  standing next to a man in all black. "The caption says 'Martha and Mickey Smith'," read Robert, "Keep going."

Audrey looked at the picture on the next page. "Oh this woman has red hair like Mommy," squealed Audrey.

"'Donna and Wilfred'," read Robert.

"Next page," announced Audrey.

"Clara and Danny," read Robert.

"Woah. Those are our names," said Audrey.

"Why did Daddy and Mummy name us after them?" asked Robert.

"Because they were very good people," interjected the Doctor.

Robert and Audrey jumped at the sound of their father's voice. "Off to bed," said the Doctor, and the Time-Twins scurried away towards the bathrooms.

"River, they're growing up," sighed the Doctor sinking into the chair Audrey was just seated in.

"They're only eight," replied River.

"Don't remind me. Soon, they'll realize that their the offspring of an idiot and a psychopath," said the Doctor massaging his temples.

River laid her hands on the Doctor's shoulders. "Yes, but you're also a madman, the man who stops the monsters, the nightmare of mightmares, the Oncoming Storm, and I'm Professor River Song: Archaeologist, Detective, the Woman Who Married and Murdered the Doctor, and the Child of TARDIS. And still, there is so much more," said River reassuringly.

"But what about when they find out that their parents are not so much the heroes they thought they were," persisted the Doctor.

"No one's perfect, and us Timelords that feel the earth move and watch time burn at its core... we're some of the most flawed of all."


End file.
